Battle of the Cigarette Curse

 One of the worst decisions in my youth at 17 years old was to pick up the nasty habit of cigarette smoking. Before I became a smoker I was a beautiful teenage girl with long flowing brown hair, smart and athletic with no bad habits. I also had a powerful singing voice that I trained myself without any outside lessons. Yeah, I may have been a little vain and loved the fact that I could walk down the street and people would stare at me all the time. However, a rough home life started to change my attitude and appearance. I cropped my hair and bleached it blonde and wore heavy eye makeup. I wanted to make a statement that I was a tougher individual than my previous girl next door look. I wanted to be free from all the ka offs that were occurring in the home. I started smoking, would hang out late at night with friends without a curfew. I enjoyed conversing with friends sometimes with a drink in one hand because there was simply nothing else to do nor did I care. I thought nothing wrong with a little teenage fun once in a while. I took my first job at 16 as a food server in a small local restaurant. In those days there was no labor standards about employers keeping underage people safe from bad habits like smoking. Smoking was not banned in those days. We are talking about the 1980s here. I was required habitually to serve the customers, serve their food and beer. Yes this small restaurant sold beer yet they always seemed to hire underage workers. I was sometimes required to pour it into the customer's glass. I also had to make sure there were ashtrays available on the tables as well as dispose of dirty ashtrays filled with cigarette butts. I found it quite gross but thought it was just a normal thing when customers and even the boss smoked around me. I believe this is what got me started on the habit. I saw everyone else doing it so I thought I would give it a try. A pack of smokes in the early 80s was less than two dollars. I thought that if I didn't like it I could just stop right then and there. It didn't work out that way. It became an addiction I fought with for forty years. I had tried many time during the forty years to quit the nasty habit for good but it was always short lived. It just seemed to get a little harder as the years went by. I never thought much about the health issues about smoking when I was younger because I just simply didn't want to face it at the time. I enjoyed puffing on those cigarettes. Sometimes I was a heavy smoker meaning over a pack a day but normally it was mostly no more than a pack a day. It doesn't really matter if one smokes one cigarette or fifty cigarettes in a day, a smoker is a smoker. I nearly tried everything in the books to get off the cancer sticks. I tried cold turkey which was just too much to handle because of the withdrawal symptoms. I tried the patch but didn't like it. It made me feel sick and dizzy. I tried prescription drugs to help with quitting smoking. Those too made me feel sick. I even tried the inhaler but found it wasn't really strong enough and it gave me a headache. I also tried vaping but it gave me a headache as well and I saw it as another form of smoking. It was also very expensive to vape like cigarettes today. I also used the nicotine gum which has so far given me the best results but the key is too stick with the plan. When that nicotine craving hits is when it's time to pop that gum in the mouth. This can be necessary many times throughout the day when one is in the early stages of quitting smoking. This may take several tries and then I discovered that if I weaned myself off cigarettes slowly by using the gum it became a little easier. So far this has been the best method for me. Regardless, if one struggles never give up trying. If a person wants to stop smoking bad enough there will be a method that will work. It's also being mentally prepared for the challenge. All it takes is one less puff at a time and then finally no more. Don't forget to reward yourself for a job well done.